A night on the town
This date was with my friend Gabby. I have known her longer than I have known any of my other friends. Gabby and I met right after 6th grade, during a trip to Ocean City for a friend’s birthday. She was a tiny little ghetto blonde girl with an attitude who wore juncos and listen to the Insane Clown Posse (who I had never heard of at that point.) I was a chubby sheltered catholic country school girl singing classic rock and rocking my dresses and Gothic combat boots. We had to share a room for a week and could barely stand a 3 hour car ride. We were girls who both had male friends and liked it that way. We have since (grown into our looks LOL) learned to love each other and become the best of friends.
For this date Gabby and I went to a local bar, The Lodge, and we were suppose the play pool but on a Saturday night if you are a horrible pool player like myself and Gabby you don't get to play pool. Instead we decided to embrace our inner Divas and dance! Let me just say I am not a good dancer (my friends like to mock my dance its my move when i'm spinning in a circle with my in the air... its not pretty). Gabby on the other hand loves to dance so this was right up her ally (expect for the line dances she can't do those...I shine bright there!) As to my own date rules I will have fun and roll with it! I'm just gonna say my milkshake isn't bring any boys to the yard with my dances moves...Gabby is determined by the end of the year I could drop it like its hot but i have my doubts (Bahahaha).
Speaking of dancing, I during our date I asked Gabby If you knew you could not fail, what job would you have and is the possibility of failure stopping you from having it now? Gabby told me she would be a dancer! I had know idea that is what she would be if she could be anything, I think that is fantastic! Gabby also said that she doesn't pursue that career because she is to harsh on her body judgement and how she should look for that career that if her body image doesn't hold up to her own scrutiny then how could it hold up to others. I know that the world is a judgmental place but I hate to think people don't go after their dreams because of how society views them. You can do anything you want! America is the land of opportunity, we just have to be brave enough to take a chance.
Personally I am torn between wanting to do Professional Photography/ Event Planning or Strategic communication and Risk Management if I knew i couldn't fail...I just don't know I love all of those things for different reasons. Its like the world is a simpler place in the country or doing photography/event planning. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that simple is less complicated but then there is the city which is its own kinda beautiful just a lot more complex like doing Strategic Communication and Risk Management. I really am a little torn between which I would choose if failure wasn't an option. (Insert superhero quote here…… Lol)
It is true if you know you can make the world a better place you have to do something because you can’t waste your talent or what you could offer the world. What if you can make a difference? Don’t you have to try then? But is Art less important then Communication? What about Power verses Creativity? I wouldn’t be happy just being on a farm because what about my country, my planet, my home, my mind? I know too much now that I can’t unlearn. It is easier on the farm (as long as you have money). Hard work keeps you busy and if you’re busy you’re happy. As long as you’re around good people who make you laugh. Laughter is the key to happiness, right?
It’s why dating is so hard. Who is going to make you laugh? Who is going to be there when the world feels like it’s on your shoulders? What are there morals & values? A friend of mine compared dating to mining implying it was like trying to find a diamond in the rough (I've been digging for a while all I got is a pile of rocks...). It is why dating sucks! Do they like you or don’t they like you? Are we dating or are we talking or is this nothing, is it okay for me to see somebody else? Are we exclusive? How long do we wait before asking her to be your girlfriend? What is painfully slow and what is crazy fast? Who decides these things? Women’s and men’s expectations of dating have been socially constructed and manipulated by romantic comedies, church, and strip clubs to Disney movies, music videos , and the family you grew up in. Now throwing online dating into the mix we are all screwed.
Gabby and I talked a lot about online dating. I tried online dating once and I did not like it. I used Eharmony for 3 months... It set me up with a lot of older gentlemen and a few younger ones but my straw was when it matched me with a guy from PA that looked just like a friend of our family (it was creepy the resemblance... it case you read this Mike Marley I was matched with a boy who looked like you. Not that you aren't gorgeous but I've known you since... forever it was a weird moment for me. His picture wasn't didn't look like you but it was my first and only meeting from a dating website and NO online dating since). Gabby is much braver then I am. She has tried Christian Mingle, Meet Singles, Single Parent Meet, Plenty Of Fish, and Tinder.
Gabby is pretty funny when talking about the dating sites. She believes POF and Tinder are booty call sites, swipe right to hook up. Christian Mingle is to "chruchy" for the non-Jewish girl with a half Jewish half Christian family (if your mom isn't Jewish you aren't Jewish... her dad is Jewish....How this is still okay in 2016 blows my mind just saying). The meet Single and meet Parents are basically horny adults with kids that want something more then a booty call but less then marriage but nothing to complicated because they have a _______(insert line about crazy ex) and don't want you to get hurt (lol). Gabby said you should avoid profiles where people talk about themselves in the 3rd person (= arrogant), or they use the word I a lot. Also be careful if they look high maintenance on there profile it will be worse in person. I of course asked her how do you know they aren't murders or serial killers? She said "Sometimes you worry" (Lmao), "If they are to smooth or on point with everything, run." Basically being human is to have errors and if you are on a date and they have the perfect answer and never nervous or never mess up you might wanna snap chat or text your friends with a "RED FLAG" 911 everyone call me now I gotta get outta this date kinda thing that says my grandma died or my kid just got sick or broke a leg.
After my first experience with online dating and the fact that I'm afraid of not getting what I ordered when I shop online, I think I will be avoiding that bucket of crazy for the foreseeable future.
So what did we learn from this date?
1- Have a back up back when you go on a date because you never know what kinda crazy you're getting into.
2- You have friends for a reason. Don't be afraid to talk to them, sometimes they can help you see things from a whole new perspective.
3-Try new things because really whats the worst that can happen (you go out with someone who looks like your family friend or you make a fool of yourself on the dance floor.. who cares! Are you ever going to see those people again?)
4- Be comfortable in your own skin and don't be afraid to dream big because if you believe in yourself you can do anything!
5- Dating is complicated! Good luck!
