Picnic and Pottery
I had a wonderful time on my date to Amazing glaze! I went out with Jennifer, she is not only a friend but my neighbor! She married my boy next door (lol), Andy. They make the cutest couple! Jen and I met through friends and bartending. We have both been (badass) bartenders for many years now.
Jen and I went to Amazing Glaze in Bel Air for our date. If you don’t know what about this place let me fill you in. When you first walk in it may look a little over-whelming with all of your options for different crafts and pottery pieces but with an amazing helpful staff, calming music and your endless imagination this shop will showcase your talents( if you lack artistic talent they can help with that too.. just talk to Amy, the lovely young blonde girl with glasses. She will tell you some funny stories and your art work will seem golden!). Me and Jen decided on painting skull mugs. The mugs were intended to be little guy skulls with bow ties but we decided they would be better as sugar skulls so we went at it and made them our own! Amazing Glaze also has mosaic art, glass fusing, and canvas painting if painting pottery isn't for you. This was one of my more pricey dates in my date box at around $50.00 ( I tried to keep most around $30) but keep in mind you get a keepsake and a great time out of it and the prices vary based on the item you choose to paint.
Jennifer and I talked a lot about expectations on our date. The high and low expectations of dating, what is realistic, should you lower your standards, and the expectations of dating verses being married. I'm telling you right now Jen is a saint when it comes to dating, I on the other hand have horns holding up my halo. Instead of going in with high standards when dating Jen has taken a different approach. She has become friends with and gotten to know every man she has ever dated. While being friends with them she would observed what their personality was like, if they could hold a conversation in a group of friends, how respectful they are, what there jealous levels where like, how they treat the women around them, and learn about the person from a different perspective (damn she is smart). Then once she started dating (someone she was now friends with) still having a lower expectation until she found out things like work ethic, how responsible they are, what they are like around kids, how they spend money, and how they are around parents (their own and yours). I have not been friends with every man I've ever dated first...probably one of the reasons I'm single and Jen is married. I hold high expectations and if they aren't met then it wasn't meant to be (obviously not always the best route). Don't get me wrong nobody is prefect and I am far from prefect (if you don't believe me go ask any of my ex-boyfriends). Jen and I agree that there is a certain endearing charm in imperfection. I just don't want trouble I don't have time for that. In Seinfeld George and Jerry break up with women because they aren't "perfect" without even giving them a chance because of superficial things like the low talker, the man hands and the girl with the weird toe. I'm not like that and I don't need some Disney movie were sparks fly or i get rescued by the handsome prince, I can save my damn self. I just want someone to treat me the way they want to be treated, that's not to much to ask (well maybe it is...).
While painting our mugs we talked a little about strange or nervous habit. Jen counts her teeth with her tongue while I pick at my nails or twist my hair (lucky her, i don't think people notice when you count your teeth but I pick my nails so bad sometimes they rip). I also filled so silence with my fun would you rather questions! Would you rather bring in da' funk or bring in da' noise? Jen and I agree bring in da' funk!!!! Would you rather get drunk dialed by Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr.? Jen said hands down MLK while I said either would be fantastic to listen to drunk but I would also need to be drunk. Would you rather have a lake named after you or a popular children's multi-vitamin in shaped in your image? Jen said Lake while I said multi-vitamin then we both made arguments on how either of those could be taken very wrong...I'm going to get into Jen OR Did you eat Lexy today?(bahahahahaha). Finally would you rather go back in time and have DaVinci paint your portrait or Shakespeare write you a sonnet? This was unanimous, a sonnet from Bill would win (every girl wants a man to write her a love letter even now because living with men sucks... how is it you can know every sports rule but not how to put laundry in the basket? Frustrating....that's why you need to be cute and love notes help lol).
Dating isn't black and white as it is more like this big gray area were we all get a little (well a lot) confused. That said, we all have dating flaws. Do you know what your biggest dating flaw is? Some of the examples Jen and I came up with included: Self-sabotage, talking too much, not being able to hold a conversation, type a, to into your technology, sleeping with your date to quickly, can't relax, getting to boozy, worrying about years from now instead of enjoying the moment, and over analyzing little things (there are more but this is our top 10 list). I'd say my biggest dating flaw is bringing up controversial topics to quickly (politics, religion, how my football team will kick your football teams ass... etc.). Jen said her biggest dating flaw is over analyzing and second guessing what she says (like an inter-monologue over silly things).
So...I saw him, my ex (the one I made this date box for originally) for the first time in months. I didn’t think it would bother me after how much he hurt me but it did. He didn’t come near me. He didn’t talk to me. He only looked at me from a distance, our eyes locked for a second before I looked away. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life to date. He was with her and maybe it was seeing him with someone else for the first time that did it but even going on all these dates meant for us none of it got to me until that moment. I don't think I have ever left somewhere so quickly in my life. I grabbed Killian's hand and calmly walk/ran to the car before loosing my shit (Killian was looking at me like I just grew another head). It wasn't more then a minute after being in my car that my mascara was running down my face and my I was cussing under my hoodie while trying to pull it back together. After about 3 minutes of down time and crying I was fine but I didn't realize I wasn't fine until then.
I'm thankful I'm not with that man, he was horrible to me and treated me like dirt. I set my expectations the way I do because nobody will lie, cheat, devalue, or use me ever again. I learn from my past because if I do not it will be doomed to repeat itself and I deserve better then that. Jen told me when you know you just know. She said she knew Andy was the one because the way he talked to her mother one day when she was sick. Jen told me he was kind, caring, patience and respectful and in that moment she just knew. No more over analyzing, just relaxing and accepting....(at least I'd like to think something like that can happen for me). I'm not looking for a Mr. Right Now or a Mr. Right because I'm not really looking. I mean being single isn't so bad other then the lack of someone to cuddle with.
So what have we learned…
1. Sometimes you have to adjust your expectations to fit the situation not necessarily set them high or low but remember everyone is human.
2. Learn from your past or you are doomed to repeat it!
3. Get crafty its good for the mind!!!! Stress reliever!
4. Appreciate and accept your flaws but don't self-sabotage, play it smart!
5. DATING is never easy and it doesn't turn out the way you expect it will. Be patience, everything happens for a reason and maybe you don't need anyone but yourself to make you happy. Remember you got this!
Bonus- Love Letter/Notes tucked into random places = happy wife/girlfriend =happy life
