Faking IT...
This was one of my favorite dates so far! One of my best friends, Stevie joined me at the Casino, Hollywood Casino in Perryville to be more specific, for a little gambling! Stevie & I met while working at the Rite Aid Warehouse about 7 years ago and have been friends ever since! Actually, I am the godmother to her amazing son Jaxon (OMG he is such a cutie pie!!! I love him so much!!!! Mess with my baby and I’ll ruin you…and Killian will unleash his fury). Stevie is with a very lucky man, Ty, he is pretty great (I’m so glad they found each other & are happy)! Stevie is the most caring, thoughtful, honest, and loyal person I have ever met (bonus points she is funny as hell, so is Ty…lucky goofballs).
For this date Stevie and I had an envelope with money in it and instructions to go play the slots at our closest casino, along with taking shots and grabbing some food (it also said to dress cute… I did my best lol). Off we went into the casino to get our players cards and try to win some money! Unfortunately for us we are not good at gambling and we lost it all but we had a blast trying (first we are up, then down, then up again…. Lol). Thank goodness we didn’t play table games, I don’t have the face for it (bluff…SMILE…fold…smile…lol). This is a great date for you and your friends, but I don't think it would be one I'd recommend for a newer couple because of all the changing stations and moving around. You are bound to get separated at some point and the environment isn't the best for getting to know a new person, but for an established relationship it will be a blast (just be careful how much you spend...set a limit and don't go over it).
So Stevie and I are about to 30 years old!! We are both February babies! So this milestone is freaking me out a little bit (needless to say it has my mind running 100 miles a minute). How can you know what you want until you know who you are and what you don’t want? I never realized how much I didn’t know or still have yet to learn. I mean…HELLO… I’m about to be 30 years old (OMG!!!!). Then it hit me, I came to the realization that age is really just that… a number (damn it they were right). I thought by now I would be in a fantastic job with a bunch of kids, an amazing husband, owning my very own house (with the best freaking washer & dryer... don’t ask), the most loyal dog, and have traveled to a dozen places with stories to fill books…needless to say that is not my life.I took (how to put this with grace) a more scenic route, to figure out my life. I have the most amazing son! I will be graduating with a double major from Towson University in approximately 100 days and a job offer! I also had the rare opportunity (for a single mom like me) to travel to Europe, I’ve taken my son on an epic road trip this side of the Mississippi (and Texas), and I got to explore Jamaica with one of my best friends! I’ve had a lot of wonderful experiences, lessons, and memories that I wouldn’t trade for whatever world I thought I wanted. If I could do it all over again I would do it exactly the same….heartbreaks includes.
During our date Stevie and I talked about a lot about faking it. When I say “it” I am referring to orgasms but women and men fake so much more than that in relationships (especially these days so our conversation spiraled). The divorce rate is higher than ever because of lack of communication (damn technology… what’s my major? COMMUNICATION talk to each other) in general or specifically about what… sex and money (known fact those are the biggest problems in relationships). Think about your past relationships (got one in your mind) did it not come down to lack of communication, sex issues or money problems… (Lack of trust falls into no communication btw). Back to faking it, should you or shouldn’t you that is the question???? Have you? Why? Stevie and I (after a long discussion) came to the conclusion that it is better never to fake it because what are you getting out of that? The answer is nothing!! In the past sure I’ve faked it once or twice but they tried so hard and maybe I was drunk (lol… it happens) or he just didn’t have the best equipment for the job (also not the nicest thing to tell a guy) but with age comes a bluntness (harsh reality we are like... hey that it doesn’t cut it, let me show you how it’s done). Stevie said “When you find a man who really cares he is going to make sure you don’t have anything to fake. There is only going to be the real honest to God, feel it in your toes O’s every single time. Trust me I know. I couldn’t fake it if I wanted to (Lucky bitch…lol). But it isn't just sex, he makes sure I don't have to fake it with everything. Its just that little bit of effort that separates the boys from the men." Effort...hmm who would have thought (lol.....).
Basically faking it takes too much time and effort that someone doesn’t deserve because they aren’t putting that time and effort into you. If it’s not real you don’t want it, which goes for orgasms (sex), relationships, friends, lovers, success (hell… even enemies) basically anything worth putting effort into never fake it, don't waste your time (or theirs). Don't settle, be honest, and always be true to yourself (if you do that you're set).
So, I started this blog because I had a box full of dates and a broken heart. Now I have a near empty box and a heart that is stronger than it ever was before… (Thanks everyone). I read somewhere that in life you have three types of loves your first, your lessons, and your real one. Your first love is the kind of special nobody can ever take away and will always have a special place in your heart because they were your first for so many things. That is a love that can never be replaced but you were naive and didn’t know who you were yet so it gets better. Then there is your lessons in love is the love that is repeated but each one is different because you learn a different lesson about yourself and what you want (or don’t want) in life/ in a partner. Last there is your real love… this one just hits you like a ton of bricks whether you are ready or not (at least that’s what they say). You don’t get a choice it just happens and you connect on this level that makes you inseparable, (you would literally do anything just to see this one smile, your differences make you closer, and you can never run out of things to talk about…but you don’t mind the silence either) this is your person. I’m lucky to have gotten this opportunity to figure out who I am and what I want (not everyone gets that you know).
I definitely don’t have all the answers (not even close) but I know my worth. Do you? Figure out what you deserve and never be alright with settling for less. A woman’s (or man’s) place wherever she (or he) wants it to be! We can be sexual, we can be funny, we can be blunt, we can be travelers, we can be CEO’s, and we can be barefoot in the kitchen or anything in-between because we are unstoppable!!!!!!! As long as you do you and never fake it you’re a winner every time!
What did we learn from this date….
Age is just a number so bring it on baby!
Don’t give effort if you aren’t receiving it.
Never regret a decision, each choice is a lesson you needed to learn at the time.
Communication is Key.
Never FAKE it! Life is to short, live it!
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