Lexy, you’re out of your element…
For those of you who did not get the title and are not familiar with The Big Lebowski, on this date we went bowling! I met Jon Fletcher back when I was in high school. He was friends with my son’s father, Lonnie, so we became friends as well. Lonnie, Jon, and I (and our friend redneck who would problem hate that I’m talking about him. He is a strange bird but one of the best guys you will ever meet, an acquired taste for sure...Okay done ranting) would get into so much trouble (nothing horrible but I will say that god that cell phones didn’t have the internet or social media). One of my favorite memories of all us is going shot for shot with blue wave vodka while playing the board game risk. That strategy game becomes much more of a challenge while drinking (I’ll say it didn’t end well, the smell of that vodka still makes me feel nauseous). Fletcher is an amazing mechanic! He can fix just about anything you put in front of him and he is the best at making you smile. He is the kind of guy that will go out of this way to help others in any way he can, a genuinely kind man.
Fletch and I went to go bowling one Wednesday night….bad idea! I should have called ahead but I didn’t do my job. I assumed (like an ass) that a bowling alley would have open lanes on a random Wednesday night (boy, was I wrong). They had a huge bowling league thing going on and no lanes to open unless we waited at least 2 hours. Well, that was a minor setback. You live and you learn and you plan better for next time. There was no way I was going to waste one of the very few days I got to see my friend, so we decided to hit up the local pub, Sean Bolans, for a few beers and a chat and we rescheduled bowling.
Bowling turned out to be a great date when we finally got to do it (on a Saturday afternoon, who would have thought that would be less crowded)! Jon is a much better bowler then he led me to believe. I on the other hand am not a good bowler… (You’re over the line Lexy! MARK IT ZERO!....LMAO. Again a Lebowski reference, if you haven’t seen the movie do yourself a favor and go watch it and pick up some white Russians while you’re at it!) Bowling isn’t very expensive and it is so much fun! It leaves you a lot of time to talk and laugh. This date is great for old friends, family, or a new couple, everyone likes to put down some balls (even if they suck at sports… they will still have a blast)!
Jon and I had a lot of great conversations during our date including standards, hoes, sex, and happiness. Our society holds different standards for men and women and it sucks but that doesn’t mean all men and women feel that way (right?). When I asked Jon if held different standards for women than men he joking replied “I love it when a women first wakes up in the morning, us men just can’t pull that off.” When we really started talking about the different standards in relationships we came to the conclusion that both of us don’t fit those prototypical standards and we don’t expect them. Whether it is something like women cooking and cleaning and men only doing outside work more like everyone do a little of everything, or that high-five mindset of yeah I just got some no boy/girls do that men/women keep their business to themselves…we are judging you equally. Now our conversation did side note with showering and odor being an issue because men tend to smell worse thinking men should shower daily (at least wash your nether reigns) and women every other day is fine, they don’t produce the amount of sweat that a man does but if you like being smelly then rock on! Just watch then next time you call a girl out for doing the Walk of Shame but you are praising a guy for his Stride of Pride when they are the same damn thing.
So when are you a hoe, what makes a hoe? There are hundreds of songs that talk about you being a hoe, but in our eyes this is what makes a hoe. Cheating on your husband or wife (girlfriend/boyfriend) and/or lying about anything important 100% makes you a hoe no wiggle room. Now getting money that makes you a hooker not a hoe. We also said sleeping with multiple people in one night or having multiple girlfriends/boyfriends would make you a hoe too…. but to each there own on these (you know when you look like a hoe, don’t do hoe things). After that the standards for hoe change from person to person. Some would say if you have had sex with over a certain number of people you are also a hoe, or if you sleep around and you aren't in a relationship that makes you a hoe, or if you have a fuck buddy that makes you a hoe...but Jon and I don't necessarily agree with any of these things because everyone is their own person if they wanna sleep with someone who is single, doesn't want a commitment, or just for fun who are we to judge them (just saying sex is considered a basic need, look it up- Maslow's hierarchy).
Probably my favorite talking point for the night was this one (because it got hilarious), when do you never have sex when (obviously avoid being a hoe and a whore)… We came up with a lot of what if scenarios for this and someone talked our way into all of them. So whether it’s at a funeral, on your death bed, in the jungle, at a wedding, in a dress room, or outside on the hood of a car, always have sex… if you want to that is. One tip from the personal life of one whom shall remain nameless… never meet your significant others parents while tripping on acid (LOL), I would recommend following that advice.
We ended our date by talking about things that make us happy and what our 3 happiest moments of our life are so far… For Fletch, the first time he fell in love, standing in the rain at 17 years old, with his girlfriend and he just knew. Second, was opening the front door (“thinking I hope he gave me the right keys”) to his new house (immediately followed by the anxiety of “how am I going to fill this empty space?!”). The third moment Jon told me about was a pool tournament to go to Vegas, when he was playing 8ball & 11 beers in (I’d be lucky to walk straight no way I’d be shooting straight... lol) he WON! It was the final match that sent his team to Vegas, the team captain cried and everyone cheered! For me my happiest moment hands down was the moment my son, Killian, was born followed by the day Lonnie asked me to marry him (it was fairy tale like), and there was a few concerts that have been pretty amazing & I got to meet some awesome musicians. Music makes me so happy!
(J/k..... I couldn't help myself when I saw this meme lol)
So what did we learn from this date?
Call ahead, even if it is a random Wednesday night and it make no sense for it to be crowded… you never know. Preparation is Key.
2.Everyone is equal! Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you, sound good…great!
3.Do you but nobody like a HOE, so don’t be that person.
4.The Big Lebowski is a fabulous movie and everyone needs to see it!
5.Have sex in fun, new, wild, and crazy places just because you can. Don’t be a prude forever. Its okay to live a little once in a while (remember to not be dumb or do illegal things, I’m not responsible for dumbassory).
6.Take time to do things that make you happy. Life is just a series of moments. Which ones are going to be worth remembering?
